I hear of so many cases of female infanticides,foeticides in news ,Well at times I feel its valid.Yeah As I am writing this post,I am also figuring out where to head from here!
Being born a girl and that too in a middle class orthodox family of North India,Trust me is difficult,Especially when you struggle each time to prove that you are worth it! Alas,as world celebrates the ideals of Womenhood,More and more women venture out in this world and are creating a mark,On the other hand a lot many are sacrificing their dreams just because they want to be a good daughter.
This time I too want to be a good daughter, I cannot go against my parents wishes and this time like a criminal who is convicted for treason I choose to be convicted because I was born a girl.
I never realised this could happen to me.I turned 26 this year and landed up a nice job where I am appreciated,where my team looks upto me ad above all I feel a value addition,Each day I feel more closer a step ahead from yesterday but Now what ? Its slipping away from me however desperately I try ,.......
All my Life trying to be a good responsible daughter all I did was neglect my dreams,sacrificed my choices chose a different way of life altogether.
Never even whispered in dreams that what my dreams actually were.......yeah When I wanted to dance,I chose to solve calculations,simply because if I qualify the prestigious IIT-JEE my Father would feel proud and then probably he would never even regret for not having a first born who is not a Son.With due Respect they love me a lot probably more than anybody else but Still the Social Stigma of just two daughters have bothered them a lot,I could always sense that particular thing and tried my hard to be the daughter who could be a Son to them......
Now I failed........I refused to get married to the boy of their choice not once but Twice but still they have given me a third and last chance......It means I have no choice left.......
So My Life ends here ," I " in me is begging for mercy,Infact that wretched feeling of being defeated is so persistent.....
I donot even have time,Alls decided and finalised and I see my life ending before my very own eyes........Its not the first time that its happening there is a pattern in my life......
Each time and every time ...........I still remember how badly I wanted to run away from my engineering college and its terrible hostel but was not allowed,I still remember gulping down all those sleeping tablets just to avoid going back to my college ,how much I abhorred those data structures and C++/Java especially Mathematics ,those terrible meaningless lab classes where I always hated newton and Einstein .
Back to Square one ,the same options ,same obligations and same guilt of being born a daughter,The difference this time is however I survived my four years of useless education safely locking my dreams but now when I am actually living the life I always dreamt of ,I am on the verge of loosing it forever! Because this time its not a matter of 4 years of education Its My Life which is at stake.
I have always been a die hard romantic,a dreamer So Do I wait for the knight in shining armour to actually save me from this Peril....
Being born a girl and that too in a middle class orthodox family of North India,Trust me is difficult,Especially when you struggle each time to prove that you are worth it! Alas,as world celebrates the ideals of Womenhood,More and more women venture out in this world and are creating a mark,On the other hand a lot many are sacrificing their dreams just because they want to be a good daughter.
This time I too want to be a good daughter, I cannot go against my parents wishes and this time like a criminal who is convicted for treason I choose to be convicted because I was born a girl.
I never realised this could happen to me.I turned 26 this year and landed up a nice job where I am appreciated,where my team looks upto me ad above all I feel a value addition,Each day I feel more closer a step ahead from yesterday but Now what ? Its slipping away from me however desperately I try ,.......
All my Life trying to be a good responsible daughter all I did was neglect my dreams,sacrificed my choices chose a different way of life altogether.
Never even whispered in dreams that what my dreams actually were.......yeah When I wanted to dance,I chose to solve calculations,simply because if I qualify the prestigious IIT-JEE my Father would feel proud and then probably he would never even regret for not having a first born who is not a Son.With due Respect they love me a lot probably more than anybody else but Still the Social Stigma of just two daughters have bothered them a lot,I could always sense that particular thing and tried my hard to be the daughter who could be a Son to them......
Now I failed........I refused to get married to the boy of their choice not once but Twice but still they have given me a third and last chance......It means I have no choice left.......
So My Life ends here ," I " in me is begging for mercy,Infact that wretched feeling of being defeated is so persistent.....
I donot even have time,Alls decided and finalised and I see my life ending before my very own eyes........Its not the first time that its happening there is a pattern in my life......
Each time and every time ...........I still remember how badly I wanted to run away from my engineering college and its terrible hostel but was not allowed,I still remember gulping down all those sleeping tablets just to avoid going back to my college ,how much I abhorred those data structures and C++/Java especially Mathematics ,those terrible meaningless lab classes where I always hated newton and Einstein .
Back to Square one ,the same options ,same obligations and same guilt of being born a daughter,The difference this time is however I survived my four years of useless education safely locking my dreams but now when I am actually living the life I always dreamt of ,I am on the verge of loosing it forever! Because this time its not a matter of 4 years of education Its My Life which is at stake.
I have always been a die hard romantic,a dreamer So Do I wait for the knight in shining armour to actually save me from this Peril....
