Surrender

The literal meaning of the word "Surrender" is Stop Resisting or to submit completely .

Timing is everything.A smart person knows when to resist or when to submit.

I am a believer.A believer in Fate.A believer in Destiny.a believer that whatever happens happens for a reason.A believer that the architect of our fate is that Supreme power whose authority everybody accepts.

Religion try to name the architect but he is only one..deep rooted in our culture,foundation of civilizations,present in each living being.A guide when required, a healer when requested,a helper when asked.

Surrender when hopeless.

Surrender when in despair.

Surrender when in doubt and Surrender when in threat!

I surrender myself to the Universe allowing my desires to manifest right here right now.And I know some where somebody is working on it.

Things are not going well.

Infact my life could be taken as an ideal example of Failure,of .Blunders and of Foolishness.I am not ashamed.I am proud that with the problems around me I still have remained intact,in one piece and I try,I try hard to remain myself.

I smile each day.I am grateful for yet another beautiful day.I feel happy and I feel beautiful

I reinforce my belief in surrendering completely.Thing are not falling together.I am clueless.I am standing at one of those cross roads of Life where there is one way which leads towards  my destiny.Hence one wrong choice and I would be doomed.I am twenty eight,single,jobless but in love.

Well I am in love with myself,perhaps that's what keeps me going.

Each day I woke up,I say Thankyou.

Now since I am learning to Surrender I strongly believe that there is another way out from this dire situation.

A Miracle awaits me.

Infact Universe must be planning something really grand

As I apply coat of flour scent orange on my nails,I could feel my life is soon going to be as colorful as my nail paint .

With this positive note I wish you all a happy Weekend..with backyard barbecue  and long

sunny days.

I am not religious but I believe in the philosophy of Lord Krishna and Gita.
A nice story I came across which I would like to mention below which is in Context with Complete Surrender ,being a vessel  of God..

Krishna always holds a flute in his hand, but there is a great story behind it. Everyday Krishna would go in the garden and say to all the plants, “I love you”. The plants were very happy and responded back and said “Krishna, we love You, too”. One day Krishna rushed quickly into the garden very alarmed. He went to the bamboo plant and the bamboo plant asked, “Krishna, what´s wrong with you?” Krishna said “I have something to ask you, but it is very difficult”. The bamboo said “Tell me: if I can, I will give it to you”. So Krishna said “I need your life. I need to cut you”. The bamboo thought for a while and then said “You don´t have any other choice. You don’t have any other way?” Krishna said, “No, no other way”. And it said “OK, I surrender to you”. So Krishna cut the bamboo, made holes in it, and each time, while he was doing that, the bamboo was crying with pain, because he was paining the bamboo so much. Krishna made a beautiful flute out of it. And this flute was with Krishna all the time. 24 hours a day, it was with Krishna. Even the Gopis were jealous of the flute. They said, “Look, Krishna is our Lord, but yet we get to spend only some time with him. He wakes up with you, He sleeps with you, all the time you are with him”. So one day they asked the bamboo, “Tell us the secret of it. What secret do you have, that the Lord treasures you so much?” And the bamboo said “The secret is that I´m empty inside. And the Lord does whatever he wants with me, whenever he wants with me and however he wants with me”. So this is complete surrender: where God can do whatever He wants with you, whenever He wants, as He wants. And for that you don’t need to be scared, you know, you have just to give yourself. And who is yourself in reality? It’s just Him!

Better Late than Never

Best things in Life are free!

I realised it late or deep down somewhere I always knew.I used to console myself that when I would be able to afford  A Prada or A Channel or even  perhaps a Gucci or The Armani ,that day would be the happiest day of my life.Then I convinced myself if only I had a small car to travel hassle free,that day would be the happiest day.Then the list never ended and as the result I never had the Happiest day.

Now there did come a point when I questioned myself,I had to ..given my list was exhausted ..."that why the hell am I not getting even closer to having one day as the happiest day of my Life".

Then  I just stumbled upon old albums containing really vintage pictures..some a little ruined because they were twenty years old.It was a sign.A Sign sent by my guardian angel .

I began browsing those photographs.Oh I looked so different.Way too lean as if malnourished but way too happy.The smile on my face and the twinkle in my eyes.

Childhood to the Golden days,High School days.....!

Certainly everybody agrees to the fact that School days are the best days but nobody told me that life gets complicated after that.You get a degree,have a job,plan to get settled as in settle type of settle,your own house,a husband,a dog,2-3 kids and happy Facebook profile .Well these days each time I log into FB I see lots of happy couple and I do like it.I donot want to appear as this old hag who resents Romance.

I would never let my social reputation be tarnished like that.

But dont I just feel sick.There all the population is either getting married,having babies and travelling to Venice for their honeymoon and Well I am doing what? ! Yes Precisely ! I am still figuring out a way to be happy.Still waiting for one chance that one chance to be happy?!!!!!!!! "Weirdo" I say this to myself and I repeat

All those years wasted in trying to find happiness.I searched it everywhere,amidst the dresses,the stilettos,the handbags,the sunglasses,cosmetics,airports,multi cuisine restaurants,resorts,exotic locations,Yatch and Diamonds and sex and Men too!

Did I get it? The Answer is astonishingly  "No"

I am still not happy baring the few moments when I speak to my younger sister and  when I am with my family.

My mother,father and my sibling.The presence of these people in my life can be counted as the only good thing in my otherwise not so happy Life.

But eventually  I did realise something..That Eureka moment ! Yes I too had recently

 Being loved and loving somebody unconditionally that is certainly the most important aspect of getting closer to your happiness.

Yes Love and only love can give me the Happiest day in my Life.

I also understood happiness does not lies in perfection.Its just the flaws,the imperfection that contributes in creating the Magic .

I too want a chance at happiness.I too want to be happy .I too want to find myself by loosing myself .

I know now what makes me happy.The answer is Love.To be loved that s what I want and thats what I have been denying myself all along.

Better Late than Never......

I need My First chance at Love <3

Love all along the way one thing I denied.Well Charity begins at home.So guess I should start by loving myself first and foremost and Let the Universe bring me my first chance at Love.

So on this positive note I pray that may  we all have a loving presence in our life and that We all get to meet our lobsters...# I hope phoebe(FRIENDS) version of the lobster getting together in life time is true :P

Aww Moments

 # 1 )
“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

This is one such dialogue  where I would want to be in the receiving ends.Yes I too need to meet Harry,well if my Mr.Imperfect reads this and gets inspired to probably tell me these mushy mushy stuffs,I donot mind the duplicacy!

#2)
“I love you. You’re my only reason to stay alive… if that’s what I am.”

Killer lines indeed.....How I would die on hearing this ,this particular confession of love.
I have watched Twilight atleast 25 times!
Crazy,but at times Fantasy is way better than reality.
Edward's declaration of love is indeed classic.
Call me old fashioned but I am a firm believer in formal proposal,wherein the guy bends on his knees and takes out the ring and violins are playing in the background,there is full moon light and list goes on and on.
Out of sheer desperation perhaps I donot even think of these fancy romantic proposals,I guess I am trying hard to grow up :(

#3)
“But soft; what light through yonder window breaks? It is my lady! O, it is my love. O 
Classic!
Well this is what Romeo tells Juliet
I am speechless here...Every girl deserves her Romeo

# 4)
It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together … and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home. .. only to no home I’d ever known … I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like … magic.”
Sam has been my favorite ever since I watched Sleepless in Seattle.
Now not that I would say this but after falling in love I truly could relate to this.
Its Magic indeed
Love is Magical.It is that feeling of coming home......
Sigh........

#5)
If however your feelings have changed,I would have to tell you.you have bewitched me,body and soul and I love,I love.............I love you.I love you.I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.......

And Mr.Darcy I love you too.Man of my dreams ,My Mr.Darcy.
Elizabeth mirrored my ideas,infact we all have Elizabeth in ourself,its just that we wait for our Mr.Darcy and till the time we are still waiting,prejudices form a better part of our thinking..


And the Last my ultimate Aww moment would be ...( He would need to replace Isabella Swan to my  name,probably he would do that Some day ........Someday perhaps)
Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever.” — Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson))

Mr.Imperfect

Was it his debonair charm or his lethal smile, making my hormones react like that or its just as simple as it sounds , Opposites attract.
Why do I feel  I have heart of iron and he is a magnet,so very naturally the Pull exists.
Logic could not be substituted in cases of Love at First Sight.
First and foremost Love is never logical.
Love is never reasonable.
Love demands
Love commands....
The Happily ever afters are usually a Universal set of all the adjustments.
Love is not always the perfection.
It is sharing awkward moments,being able to be the real person in front of that one person and however infuriating he seems at times,you still want to wake up each morning in his arms.

I too have a Checklist till I meet you!#Checklist

Its every girls dream to meet the man ,her ideal ,perfect man.
I too like every other girl out there grew up with that idea.I too believed in Cindrella's fairytale and how her prince charming rescues her and searches for  her,just on the basis of One DANCE! Ultimate and so inspiring.
Cindrella's fairtytale always motivated me so did the Snow white and Seven dwarfs.
Slowly and gradually I too pictured about my Prince,but how to segregrate.Hence I put a filter and then the whole idea of checklist originated.
Inspirations : All the Nicholas sparks novel,Not to Forget Mills and Boons.( I still read them)

Btw I didnot have a  long checklist , just basics that ought to be present in my Man..Infact any Man for a girl to devote  her entire life loving him and caring for him,raising his children and cooking for his family.Its a two way street after all
We girls are indeed the princesses,we have to kiss so many frogs to find a prince.Oops I am not here mentioning the exact count of how many checklist frogs I kissed but lets do a quick recap of my CHECK List!

# 0 Engineers please excuse.No to Geeks and Nerds! :)
#1 Fashion Sense-He should have a tuxedo and a distinct wardrobe,keen interest in fashion and loves wearing  cuff links.
#2 Spontaneous - Anything and everything random.Lives Life as it comes.Showers me with affection( importantly flowers) and surprises me .
Long drives without any plan or perhaps a weekend trip just after Friday dinner.
#3 Same taste in food- Yes that is a must,in fact same choice ! prevents from ordering too much if out on a date .I am economical that way
#4 Avid Book reader - Again same taste,we should have same favorite author...Big turn on
#5 Plays a sexy musical instrument - Guitar player,sexy voice would be a plus.Keen interest in Music.
Prefers live concerts and who will make sure to take me out each time.Keep my weekends engaged
# 6 Sports /Outdoor Person - At least have been a state level player in his high school days or even school level.multiple hobbies
#7 Writer - He should be able to write,preferably love letters to me
#8 Good Looking - Perfect Partners do not over shadow each other..average height ,charming looks ,pleasing personality would be just perfect..5"11" above please excuse.
#9 Traveller - Takes me on exotic vacations on whim...Do not thinks twice
# 10 PDA and Great Makeup Sex - Yes,a public fight and later a great make up sex..Public display of affection is the best part and holding my hand everywhere just perfect!
# 11 Social worker - Must have been involved with an NGO over some period of time
# 12 Extrovert - All in all a people's Person.A good conversation Starter
# 13 Foodie - Knows the best places to take me out for dinner and suggests me what to eat and also loves experimenting
# 14 Sense of humour -  Witty and good with one liners.Must know how to use a  great pickup line..
# 15 Popular - After all these great qualities he is sure to be popular with opposite sex and same sex indeed :) # Caring,Sweet,A Great Dancer

This list is edited,I cannot shorten it any more.I tried but then 27 years of compilation of the Must have's Criteria in the Man,My kind of Man cannot be just reduced :(


So ever since the search for even a perfect 10 out of 15 continued..
Fact remains I somehow found guys that had 3 out of 15,perhaps even 8 out of 15.

A sincere apology to all those people whom I have hurt in my search for perfection.I was a headless chicken trying to fit in the idea of perfection with the idea of love
But the truth is Love when it happens does not gives you a chance to check your checklist
Also when it happens ,it happens and there is no reason.
It happened to me out of the blue.
When you expect the least you get it,unusual circumstances,inappropriate timing but the truth is the feeling is exhilarating,liberating and your heart indeed sings a song 
Love is a miracle,a powerful ,sensational ,emotional drug.It does not comes easily to girls like us.We are too biased.I was too closed and too pig headed to have actually been able to appreciate affection and admiration from people around me.Its a process called Life where Learning comes.It came to me.Few months have been a eye opener.
All I can say "Happy Realisation"!
I hope I am not that late...Love is Toxic.
I sincerely hope the only one person I love,truly,deeply,madly,unconditionally loves me back........

Part of My checklist ...

More to come!

To each his own.. I always believed in this,no interference but zero tolerance.......Live life each day as it comes but also give 100% to whatever one does!

At one of those junctures of Life where decisions would be important..
Where choice has to be mine ,only mine.
There are several other pending to do list......Miles to go before I halt.....I relocated to a new city.
I do not have a definite reason for walking out on my last job,but gradually and slowly deep in my heart I knew I would not last there for long..Zero tolerance even towards mediocrity.
Mumbai,a city of dreams,leaving it was difficult,Bangalore an unfamiliar territory,finding own ground too is a little tough.Living off on my fathers money,I am doing nothing..Vaguely I am searching for a job but then the crux is I have to find a right fit this time unlike four years which indeed have been great years after engineering college but always the misfit!
I am not disappointed neither demotivated but have perhaps kind of slowed down..Am I anticipating sudden miracle..Well Miracles do happen,I am a Miracle :)
I am still trying to connect to the Soul of Bengaluru...I am still trying to figure out what next..
But till then I rest......I rest in peace...
Travel to places unseen and loose myself...for Life is not a station its a journey..
For I am not so simple to understand....there is more to me :)